This year I have decided to do something a little different for New Years. I am going to compile a list of accomplishments in order to look back over this past year with fondness and happiness. Kind of like reflecting rather than making resolutions. Anyone can make resolutions but do we stop and reflect on the previous year and appreciate where life has brought us from and sending us to?
It is no secret that the holidays tend to be a little stressful for most people and I am no exception. We tend to become more agitated with the crowds, the hustle and bustle of the season, and the financial stress we all seem to put ourselves in. By the time Christmas Day actually gets here I am so sick of Christmas Carols I want to punch Frosty right in the kisser. It seems that modern America and local radio stations in Knoxville begin to play Christmas songs the week of Thanksgiving all day long driving me insane.
I do love the holidays and everything they mean. Now, I would not say I am an extremely religious person but I am a very spiritual person. I was raised in a religious family but as an adult I have found that the idealism of organized religion does not conform to my lifestyle. I am grateful to my parents for my childhood and everything that goes with it, but I do not feel the need to go to a building with people I do not know and pray, give thanks, or worship. I can do that in the confines of my own home, in my car, sitting on my porch, or just meditating and relaxing. Sorry, I kinda rambled off there for a second, I said all of this to say, I do respect and know the true meaning of Christmas. It is a time to rejoice and celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ and all that he has given to us. And for that I am so blessed and thankful.
I love Christmas, to me it is a time of celebrating the true meaning of the season, it allows me to gather and spend time with family I seldom see, and it is just a happy, happy time of the year. I do have to admit, I did enjoy Christmas so much more as a child. You know that time in your life when you believed in Santa Claus. You know the times you would spend on your grandmothers couch with your cousins looking out the front window just watching for Santa's sleigh to make an appearance in the sky. And when an airplane would fly over you would swear up and down that you heard the sleigh bells. I remember, driving home on Christmas Eve from my granny's house and I would watch the sky all the way home from Seymour. Unfortunately, all good things come to an end and I can remember the exact day I stopped believing. I was in 4th grade sitting in the lunch room at the old Halls Elementary School. Darryl Eply, Rhoda Albright, and Betsy Bailey made fun of me when I said I still believed and that is my magic drifted away. I realized right then there was not a Santa. I will admit, a small part of me died that day, Christmas lost a lot of magic for me that year. I guess that is what I miss the most about Christmas, the magic, watching Christmas through the eyes of a child. That has to be the purest of pure and the most magical time in any child's life. It just fills your heart with joy. I watched "The Polar Express" for the first time this year. I filled my heart with so much that I have missed. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it wholeheartedly!
It amazes me that a whole year has passed and I cannot believe all the changes and accomplishments that have been made. It seems that just yesterday we were celebrating Christmas 2010. That we were planning Dustin and Kaitlyn's wedding, getting excited about the impending arrival of a grandchild in the summer, dreading the fact that Dustin was going to be deployed to Afghanistan, celebrating graduations, the beginning of senior year, and my first job as a college graduate. We suffered losses as well, we lost our beloved dog Dawg this past year and that has been one of the hardest things to deal with. But, life as we know it goes on. We cope, and put on that smile and thank God for each and every day we are given.
We began 2011 off with having a new addition to our family. December 17, 2010 my son, Dustin, married Kaitlyn. She is a beautiful young woman that loves him so much. You can just look in her eyes as she looks at him or talks about him and it show just how much she loves him. I am so blessed and thankful for having her in our lives. They also, gave us the wonderful news that we were going to be grandparents. Well, they didn't tell me, I kinda guessed....lol I will tell you, I was probably more excited than they were, not sure....but maybe. So here we were waiting patiently for the impending arrival of a new small little life.
In April of 2011, Greg and I purchased our first home together. We love our new home. It is a place where both of us are comfortable, happy, and so proud to call home. For five years we were renting, now it is something we can call our own. A new adventure in our lives and I couldn't ask for anyone better to share this ride with.
May of 2011, Andrew graduated from Anderson County High School. He is my baby boy and all I could see on graduation day is the sweet little boy I walked in to Fairview Elementary on his first day of kindergarten. It seems as if it were yesterday. It is amazing how one minute you have a sweet little boy and you blink- they are grown and starting a new life where they make their own decisions. It is scary, I will be honest. But with one child graduating another one begins a journey of her own:
Christina, my daughter, became a senior at Anderson County High School. I still remember the little girl that stood at my back counter the first time I met her. She barely could look over the wall and all I remember is thinking, look how beautiful this little girl is; this little blue-eyed, dressed all in black, wearing skater shoes little girl looked at me and said; "do you want to see what I can do with my eyes". lol My, how times have changed. She is still a blue-eyed beauty who has grown into an even more beautiful young woman. My hope is for one day that she realizes just how much I do love her and if she would at least give me a chance I could be a great mom and an even better friend. She just doesn't want to give me that opportunity and this really breaks my heart. Because, I can be one hell of a friend!!
Well, after the months of the impending arrival, Sir Connor James decided to make his debut into this world on July 1. He was perfect!! A beautiful, sweet, and smart little baby boy! He is the love of my life. I just can't get enough of his sweetness! I see this young man having his MiMi and Pop totally wrapped around his little finger! During our celebration of the new life of Connor, we had to send Dustin, his dad, to Afghanistan for his first tour. (Hopefully, ONLY tour). At least he was here for his birth and was able to spend some time with his wife and son. But just wait til you get back! There will be one HELL of celebration when you return!!
In September 2011 I finally got a job! This is something for which I am so thankful. I had looked and applied, interviewed and cried over way too many jobs. As many of you know, education is taking a major hit and the jobs are so hard to find. I am not in a classroom but I am in the schools making a difference in the lives of a child through an after school program. I love my job!! It is the perfect fit for me.
In October, 2011 Greg and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. I am so eternally grateful for the love, affection, and support he gives me every single day. He is my best friend, and without him in my life I would be totally lost. He encourages me, supports me, and brings me down a notch when needed. I just want you to know baby....."I love ya more than my luggage". (Steel Magnolias)
I am so blessed to have so many friends. Some have been there for me for years and those that have been there just in the distance. It is so wonderful to reconnect with some, and amazing to make new friends. For my "old" friends; Thanks for keeping me grounded! For the "new" ones on the block; Can't wait to have memories as your friend. I can not leave here without mentioning my BFF Britney! She is a best-friend to die for. Girl, I love you with all of my heart! When I feel drained she is right there to encourage and push me to finish my journey!!
I just want to end this blog by saying....THANK YOU!! Thank you to everyone in my life; family, friends, acquaintances, enemies, etc.....for the positive energy sent my way this past year. Everyones words of encouragement has put a smile on my face and a skip in my step this entire year. I want to take A moment to wish each and everyone of you and yours a WONDERFUL and PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR! I look forward to what 2012 has to offer and I am sure together we will make the best of it!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!! 2012 IS GONNA ROCK!!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Pennies from Heaven!!
It is funny how Christmas time allows for a flood of memories to take over. Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year, although when I was a kid it seemed Christmas was much more enjoyable and exciting. We would gather with family (aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins...) and just enjoy the laughter and love we all shared for one another. I miss those days when life was simple. Life has become complicated. As adults we have responsibility and we have to do the "right" thing. I don't know if I like it...lol
Today a friend of mine posted on her facebook wall that it had been 2 years since the death of her brother who I was also friends. I was thinking, WOW! Two years!! Like my blog's title "Milestone's should be celerated" it make me think of all of the milestones I have had in my lifetime. When I say milestones, I mean life changing moments when you know that life is goin to be different from that moment on. Of course the birth of a child is one at the top of the list, maybe your first kiss, or you wedding...maybe even something as simple as a dinner date or a phone conversation. A milestone can be as small or as big of a production that you want it to be but you just know it will change your life from here on after. This past year has been a milestone year for me. My baby, graduated high school....and his birth was one of my most favorite milestones in my life. My oldest son (not by birth but by choice) left to serve our country in Afghanistan, I miss him terribly but I have faith and prayer that he will be safe. I have also been blessed with a grandchild. Dustin's and his wife Kaitlyn blessed me with a baby boy in July of this year. He is the most precious baby boy I have ever had the opportunity to love. He makes me smile and he just makes my heart melt. I can't explain how grandbabies make you feel. It is like you have an extension of what is yours and you just know that all is right with the world. Also, this year I finally got a job. Not exactly the type of job I had been looking for but I am in the school trying to make a difference in a child's life. Some tragic milestones have encompassed my life this year...It is silly how people we know as children and go all through school together but loose touch with as adults somehow reenter our world. The power of technology and social media has allowed us to reconnect with schoolmates, old flames, and favorite/not so favorite teachers. In this past year the class of 1984 has lost at least four classmates. This places a new perspective on your own mortality. It just makes us think. Life does not always treat us with milestones in our lives that are known for leaving positive light on our lives. This year I have been given these types of milestones. You know the kind of stones that life throws in your way just to remind us we do not have all of the control? Well, we don't have control over our destiny that has been written in stone for sometime but we do have control over how we get there. I only pray and hope that my destiny is heaven because without that thought what is it all worth?
Heaven means so much to so many, but to me it is a place of peace, beauty, and love. I am not sure if there will be angels singing, or if there will be harps playing abound but I do know that it will be peaceful, and beautiful, and full of love. Heaven is what you want it to be. Your dreams of what it is suppose to be. I only hope I am worthy of getting to my heaven. I want you to know, once I am there....I will send pennies so you shall think of me when I am gone. I know sounds kind of morbid doesn't it? It doesn't to me, for you see, I was blessed to have my grandmother, Kathryn Manley, in my life for 43 years. She meant the world to me and still does to this day. When my papaw died in 1980 I was 12 years old almost 13 and I thought that my whole world had ended that day. I watched as my nanny picked herself up and lived a life so full of life. I watched as she did the things she wanted to do and went where she wanted to go. She was opinionated and didn't care if it offended you or not. She spoke her mind. And when she was giving you a lecture on something, the one thing that always stood out was her crooked fingers she would point while trying to make a point. God, I miss her so much. I still have her phone number in my phone. I can not bring myself to erase it. Right after my papaw died, she would find random change laying around her house in just random spots. Sometimes she would find change under stuff that she knew nobody had been around. I can remember her saying out loud one day, " Bob, if you are going to send me money, please start sendig bills because this change won't buy a damn thing!" That's the was she always was. You had to laugh. I use to tease her and say, "Well, when you get to heaven, don't forget to send us bills and not change." we would just laugh. The day we buried her, I found a penny heads up in a random place. I can not explain it, all I know is I was there one minute and the penny was not there, I turned back around and there was the penny....looking up at me, heads up, as if to say...I have arrived, I am here...I will always be watching over you, I love you. That filled my heart with so much joy, saddness, and laughter all at the same time. Because, now when I find pennies in the most random places....I just smile and say they are Nanny Pennies from Heaven. She is thinking of me today. I miss her so much it hurts. There are so many things I want to talk to her about and tell her and get her opinion on and I can't. I am missing you this Christmas Nanny....I hope you know I love you ......... Merry Christmas in Heaven Nanny....give Papaw a hug and a kiss for me. I love you!
That is all from me tonight...till next time....Ciao!!
Today a friend of mine posted on her facebook wall that it had been 2 years since the death of her brother who I was also friends. I was thinking, WOW! Two years!! Like my blog's title "Milestone's should be celerated" it make me think of all of the milestones I have had in my lifetime. When I say milestones, I mean life changing moments when you know that life is goin to be different from that moment on. Of course the birth of a child is one at the top of the list, maybe your first kiss, or you wedding...maybe even something as simple as a dinner date or a phone conversation. A milestone can be as small or as big of a production that you want it to be but you just know it will change your life from here on after. This past year has been a milestone year for me. My baby, graduated high school....and his birth was one of my most favorite milestones in my life. My oldest son (not by birth but by choice) left to serve our country in Afghanistan, I miss him terribly but I have faith and prayer that he will be safe. I have also been blessed with a grandchild. Dustin's and his wife Kaitlyn blessed me with a baby boy in July of this year. He is the most precious baby boy I have ever had the opportunity to love. He makes me smile and he just makes my heart melt. I can't explain how grandbabies make you feel. It is like you have an extension of what is yours and you just know that all is right with the world. Also, this year I finally got a job. Not exactly the type of job I had been looking for but I am in the school trying to make a difference in a child's life. Some tragic milestones have encompassed my life this year...It is silly how people we know as children and go all through school together but loose touch with as adults somehow reenter our world. The power of technology and social media has allowed us to reconnect with schoolmates, old flames, and favorite/not so favorite teachers. In this past year the class of 1984 has lost at least four classmates. This places a new perspective on your own mortality. It just makes us think. Life does not always treat us with milestones in our lives that are known for leaving positive light on our lives. This year I have been given these types of milestones. You know the kind of stones that life throws in your way just to remind us we do not have all of the control? Well, we don't have control over our destiny that has been written in stone for sometime but we do have control over how we get there. I only pray and hope that my destiny is heaven because without that thought what is it all worth?
Heaven means so much to so many, but to me it is a place of peace, beauty, and love. I am not sure if there will be angels singing, or if there will be harps playing abound but I do know that it will be peaceful, and beautiful, and full of love. Heaven is what you want it to be. Your dreams of what it is suppose to be. I only hope I am worthy of getting to my heaven. I want you to know, once I am there....I will send pennies so you shall think of me when I am gone. I know sounds kind of morbid doesn't it? It doesn't to me, for you see, I was blessed to have my grandmother, Kathryn Manley, in my life for 43 years. She meant the world to me and still does to this day. When my papaw died in 1980 I was 12 years old almost 13 and I thought that my whole world had ended that day. I watched as my nanny picked herself up and lived a life so full of life. I watched as she did the things she wanted to do and went where she wanted to go. She was opinionated and didn't care if it offended you or not. She spoke her mind. And when she was giving you a lecture on something, the one thing that always stood out was her crooked fingers she would point while trying to make a point. God, I miss her so much. I still have her phone number in my phone. I can not bring myself to erase it. Right after my papaw died, she would find random change laying around her house in just random spots. Sometimes she would find change under stuff that she knew nobody had been around. I can remember her saying out loud one day, " Bob, if you are going to send me money, please start sendig bills because this change won't buy a damn thing!" That's the was she always was. You had to laugh. I use to tease her and say, "Well, when you get to heaven, don't forget to send us bills and not change." we would just laugh. The day we buried her, I found a penny heads up in a random place. I can not explain it, all I know is I was there one minute and the penny was not there, I turned back around and there was the penny....looking up at me, heads up, as if to say...I have arrived, I am here...I will always be watching over you, I love you. That filled my heart with so much joy, saddness, and laughter all at the same time. Because, now when I find pennies in the most random places....I just smile and say they are Nanny Pennies from Heaven. She is thinking of me today. I miss her so much it hurts. There are so many things I want to talk to her about and tell her and get her opinion on and I can't. I am missing you this Christmas Nanny....I hope you know I love you ......... Merry Christmas in Heaven Nanny....give Papaw a hug and a kiss for me. I love you!
That is all from me tonight...till next time....Ciao!!
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