It's been months since I've
written any kind of anything on here. I've often thought about writing but then
the thought of trying to come up with something clever to say makes my head
hurt so I just put it off saying I'll do it tomorrow. So.....today is tomorrow! It seems that life has gotten in the way of
me writing about life.
Since my last blog it seems I have
worked my butt off!! I love my job and I
am so thankful to have a job but WHEW, there are days that I realize I am not
as young as I use to be and I often come home at the end of the day totally
worn out and spent. This leads me to
notice the ten (10) signs that I am definitely getting older. I try my best to keep up with the kiddos at
school and sometimes I just have to throw up my hands and say….”I am done!”.
I am going to share with you my 10
signs that I am getting older. I
realized many of these things when I am out shopping with my recently turned 18
year old daughter and with one of my very best friends that is 28.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE GETTING OLDER WHEN:
1.
I totally refuse to get within
100 feet of an American Eagle store.
There are two reasons: 1. The music is too damn loud. And 2) It smells like my older high school
boyfriend who dropped me once he went to college and found the college girls
more appealing than me. Then I wonder
where he is and what he is doing, is he bald, fat, lonely, etc….Then I wonder,
what the hell did I ever see in him in the first place. After all, he was the one that told my mother
she needed to marry me off because I was never going to amount to
anything. And informed my mother that
real men had boys not girls (which my dad has two girls and there isn’t a
better man in the entire world than my dad).
Needless to say, I did not miss out on much in that dating
department.
2.
I am no longer embarrassed to
purchase tampons or feminine products, even when the cashier that is ringing me
up at the local Wal-Mart store is 18 and goes to school with my 18 year old
daughter or is friends with my now 20 year old son. I believe somewhere between the age of 26 or
27, I realized that I do indeed have a vagina and it is perfectly acceptable to
menstruate. I have come to the
conclusion that is also perfectly acceptable to say the word “vagina” out
loud. VAGINA, VAGINA, VAGINA!!
3.
I have come to the realization
that I am old enough to be Lindsey Lohan’s mother and if that were the case I
would have done put my foot up that little ass and made a believer out of
her!! Just saying….
4.
When someone talks about
something that happened 20 years ago, you can actually remember where you were
and what you were doing 20 years ago.
There are possibilities that some of these happenings involved alcohol,
dancing on table tops, and throwing up out of a moving vehicle…(not claiming
either of the three just saying it is a possibility).
5.
The days that I considered my
parents boring and embarrassed to be around are gone. My parents are still my parents, but they are
also my best friends. And your parents’
best friends are still your parents’ best friends, but now you consider them
your friends too, not just your parents’ friends. (Does that make sense??) And nine times out of teen I would rather
hang out with my parents and their friends who are now also your friends……
6.
I often find myself becoming
annoyed and rolling my eyes at teenager who are giggling and having fun at the
mall or in Wal-Mart, because in my opinion, they are just creating unnecessary
noise. (Disclaimer: Those teenagers are rolling their eyes at you
also. They think you are pathetic and
old, and they vow never to look like you when they are your age. After all, they will still be shopping at
American Eagle and be up on the latest trends. Right?.....Right!!)
7.
On any given Friday evening,
you find yourself getting a little bit giddy after realizing that there is a
NCIS marathon on USA Channel, and it is for the entire weekend! Break out the bottles of wine baby…it is gonna
be one hell of a bitchin’ weekend!!
8.
My kiddos at school/work think
I am the “Cool” teacher. That is like
the kiss of death! My kiddos are awesome
but I am not there to be their pal or their friend…I am there to be their
teacher.
9.
The thought of going to a frat
party makes you want to douse your entire body in rubbing alcohol and put on a
gas mask. Let’s face it…if the memory of
the stench of stale Schlitz Malt Liquor beer and man sweat doesn’t make you a
bit nostalgic for your college days, then you are definitely over the hill.
10.
You will talk about shit with
anyone, and by shit I do mean poop, and by anyone, I do man ANYONE. If you can admit to a random person of the
opposite sex that the tacos you ate for dinner had you up with the runs all
night, then you are seriously an OLD FART.
No pun intended.
Now, if anyone has any other signs of aging to
add please feel free to do so. I hope
you at least got a slight giggle or even just a smile out of my list. Maybe we can see a little bit of one another
in each other.
I am a 40 plus year old mom of
three and a MiMi to one. I am awesome at
managing 30+ kids in a classroom but suck at managing my household duties,
(basically I suck at it)! I also suffer
from serious road rage and uncontrollable urge to swear. But all in all I am a happy, beautiful,
funny, and wonderful mom!! Hope you all
have had a wonderful and blessed mother’s day.
