What is your focus?

According to the dictionary life is the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.  A corresponding state, existence, or principle or existence conceived of as belonging to the soul. 

I have consistently tried to figure out the meaning of life.  What is my purpose here?  I am sure many of you have asked the same question all too often.  In order to answer this question I started to observe people, actions, and just occurrences a lot lately.  I have the ability to look at this situation through the eyes of my 45 year old mind as well as through the eyes of the pubescent teens I see in the hallways of the schools.  I often question why we do what we do.  I substitute teach at the high school level.  There is drama on so many levels.  The struggles we put ourselves through, the pain, and the suffering.  Do you know what I see when I look around?  I see struggle and lots of it, especially in my personal life.  I also see it in the lives of others around me.  The economy has all of us down, wondering if we will make it from pay check to pay check, will we have our job next week, or will be waiting with so many others on the discouraging unemployment check.  Even when things seem to be flowing along perfectly I find myself waiting for the other shoe to fall, struggling to find balance, peace, and happiness. 

We are a country consumed on the all mighty dollar.  It seems the more money we make the more we want. What we have is never enough.  It seems that I race to work only to chase that never ending money ride.  We all strive to be more attractive, to be happier, and to be richer.  It seems we have all become superficial and selfish.  We have stopped being compassionate, understanding, and tolerant.  It seems as if many people feel life is a game.  We all know the rules to the game.  The wanting more never ends, the happiness always seems to be right around the corner, and someday is just another day away.  We walk through life as if we are going to live forever.  We often treat time as a cheap commodity and we are blindly wasting our time.  We have become a society of negativity (a bunch of Debbie Downers if you will).  We constantly view ourselves as the constant victim. 

We become stuck in jobs and relationship that we despise. We wrap ourselves around so much media and social networks that we become so consumed with other people’s opinions forgetting we are individuals.  We live in a society of competing for who owns more stuff, who is more beautiful, and who can get me to a higher point in my life.  We have bought into the empty promises stage of cosmetics and luxury products.  We are unable to forgive freely, we hold on to pain and we blame other for our misfortunes.  We surround ourselves with depression, stress, and anxiety.  This is the cry of our soul telling us to WAKE UP!! MAKE A CHANGE!! Because the life you are living IS NOT WORKING!! 

Have you given up on your dreams, your passion, and your purpose?  We have made a trade for money, stuff, and compromises.  We have distanced ourselves from being confident, happy, and unique.  We have found ourselves in a race to simply survive.  Life as we know it has become simply…exhausting…overwhelming…stagnant.  We run around chasing, rushing through life.  We are oblivious to the world around us.  We have become unaware of the beauty in front of us or within us.  We forget to look for opportunities and we forget to look for love. 

We each are given an hour-glass of time and once our hour-glass has run out, we have to face the fact that our brief existence on this planet has come to an end.  If you have failed to fulfill your desires, regrets will fall upon deaf ears.  I know that is a harsh statement but it is true.  The truth stings.  However we can use the cold hard truth to our advantage, to inspire us, and to give us that kick in the pants to start living.     

It is amazing how fast life is.  Do you remember when you were little?  It seems it took forever for the big events of the year to happen.  We were constantly waiting on something; Birthdays, Halloween, Christmas, Summer Break, School to start.  It seems that time drags by and it takes forever to reach just one milestone when you are a child.  On the other hand, it seems when we hit our first biggest milestone of turning 16, life seems to speed up.  It seems to me that it has not been that long ago I was turning 21.  Now, as I return home from a marvelous visit with my two month old grandson I have to prioritize my life accordingly.  Where has time gone?  When did I become a grandmother?  When did I get this old?  How did I become so blessed?  As I sat there on the couch holding one of the most precious beings in my life I am suddenly hit with a huge dose of perspective.  At that moment my heart felt so full.  It felt happy; truly, honestly, uncontrollably happy!  So at this point in my life I understand:  The only thing that matters is love. All the time we spend chasing beauty, money, and success is just misdirected energy.  Stress, no matter how big or how small is unnecessary.  We spend too much time making live more complicated that it needs to be.  Forgiveness is a necessity in order for us to let go of our painful past.  And finally, maybe there is an easier road to happiness.  If we focus on doing good deeds, by giving back to show we have a sense of value to our society, share our joyful experiences with those we enjoy being with, and the simplest of all, remember to slow-down, breath, and savor each moment life has to offer. 

So, what is the meaning of life?  I still don’t have the answer.  I don’t believe there is a correct answer to this question.  I honestly do not believe there is a single answer.  Life has a different meaning for everyone.  I can only answer for myself, and how I perceive life.  Life is whatever I choose to make it.  It is whatever meaning I choose to stamp on it because that is my prerogative.  If it feels right to you then you are living your life.  You are the artist here and the day you are born you are given a blank canvas.  Feel free to paint your own life – Whatever you picture, paint it and if midway through if you want to make a change DO IT!  What do you want from your life?  This is your book, writ it how you see fit.  Find what makes you happy and be happy doing it.  Do whatever it is that makes you come alive, because once you stop and your hour glass runs of sand.  I have made a bucket list (that is another blog).  Take a good look at your bucket list and add a few of these items: 

·         Life is too short

·         Life is precious

·         Live your dreams, make it happen

·         Forgive.  Who are you hurting if you die angry?  Just give yourself permission to forgive. 

·         Visit where you want

·         Love.  Create a time to connect to someone you love.  Give them your full attention. 

·         Love yourself.  Love other people, Love your work.

It all boils down to the meaning of life or the purpose of life.  Love is the reason for life and that is all that matters.  We complicate life, we insist on screwing it up.  Let’s make life simple because it is simple. 

Life…simply focus on what matters! 

Life ...what a beautiful ride!

It is funny, this past week I have been engrossed with my Facebook.  I know, you are wondering why this is news.  Well, someone started a group that has taken me back to my childhood, my high school years, my summers playing softball, and the highlights of my high school career being in band, madrigals, and chorus.  We have talked about teachers we had that have since retired, some that are STILL teaching, and those that have passed on.   We have talked about how the town we all have grown up in has changed over the years.  We have talked about friends we have had and friends we have lost and how a social network has managed to reconnect each of us to a part of our lives none of us knew was missing.  I said in my last blog, I have no regrets in my life and I mean that, I seriously do not regret one thing I have done in my life.  With that being said, I do miss what use to be.   I miss being a kid and playing outside when it was still daylight at 8:30 p.m.  I miss having my mom call me from the front porch.  I miss sitting outside with my friends just talking and we thought we were solving all of life’s problems in that small moment.  I miss sleepovers, and camping in the backyard.  I miss riding my bicycle around the neighborhood and never thinking there might be danger as a stranger drove by.  I miss swimming at the community pool, eating whatever I wanted to eat, playing arcade games because it was one of the most fascinating things I had ever seen.  I miss riding around in a car cruising the parking lots, screaming at the girls in the passing car and waving feverishly because it was our time to be silly.  Going to parties at houses when parents were away, parents getting called to come and pick you up because a neighbor called the police.  We were always looking for that cute boy we sat next to in homeroom, chemistry, algebra, or even in lunch.  Finding him and then being too shy to talk to him all you can do is sit there and giggle….that is what I miss.

I have realized over this past week that many of the people I spent a majority of my time with I no longer know.  Some of us remained friends but many have reconnected through a social media and we try so hard to find a common bond to one another.  Please do not take this the wrong way; I am happy we have a social media to reconnect to one another.  I have enjoyed this so much.  You know, it is sad when we grow up and live our lives we forget what and who made us who we are.  We forget that before we made “grown up” friends we had to make friends on the playground at school.  Some of my best memories of my friends are from that playground.  My playground was a softball field two or three nights a week and often an entire weekend of nothing but playing ball.  My playground was riding the neighborhood on a bicycle visiting my friends and not having to knock before going inside.  Catching lighting bugs, playing in a mud hole, going for a hike, or just sitting outside talking….that was my playground.  Sometimes, the cute guy would find a way to your house and you might even steal a little kiss.  Simplicity…that is what I miss. 

As adults, we make life complicated.  Everything has to happen for a reason.  We spend our whole lives planning, trying to predict, and worrying about the future.  Why can’t we just live for the moment?  Who says we have to plan everything down to the last detail?  The future houses our deepest fears, our craziest hopes, and our realistic/unrealistic dreams.  What have I learned this week?  I have learned the future is always changing and when the future reveals itself it is never how we imagined. 

I would like to say thank you to my childhood friends….without you, I would not have my greatest memories! 

                                

Celebrating my forties!

A Milestone is defined as a significant event or state in life, progress, development, or the like of a person, nation, etc…This year marks a milestone in my life.  On September 1, 2011 I turn 45 years old.  WOW!!  I can remember as a child thinking FORTY was SO OLD!  Haha…well here I am half way through my forties and I have come to the realization that forty-five isn’t old, it is just the beginning.  I love being in my forties. 

I am sure may of us, myself included, spent our teen years wishing away some very important times in our life.  For instance, high school, there are times I wish I could go back to those days when my only responsibilities were getting up each day, go to school, make good grades, spend time with my friends, and just enjoy being young.  Now, I look at the world around me now and I think to myself; “I would never survive”!  Do not get me wrong, I loved my teen years but it was a different time and so many things are differenty now.  Then along comes the twenties!  My twenties seemed to fly by.  It seems I spent most of my life making mistakes as well as trying to fix them.  Don’t get me wrong, I have no regrets in my life because to have regrets you are wishing away your mistakes.  Many of my mistakes have given me some of the most important people in my life.  I believe we are each dealt a hand of cards, how you play those cards is how your life is going to turn out.  I realized I had to learn from my mistakes and attempt the task of not making the same ones over and over.  Do I wish certain things in my life would have turned out differently?  Sure I do, don’t we all?  But life has no "do-overs" like in child-hood games.  Here comes the thirites!  WOW! My thirties were awesome.  I truly believe this is the stage in life where a woman becomes comfortable with who she is and what she has become.  This is the stage in which I began to love me.  You have heard people say, “I am comfortable in my own skin”, well this was accomplished in my thirties.  Who I am, where I was going, who I wanted to become…etc….  In other words, I spent my thirties making repairs not only to myself, but to people around me.  I realized who I needed in my life and the people that brought me down by negative energy or lifestyle were quickly weeded from who I have now become. 

So, here I am, forty-five and it seems as though I have spent the last five years finding a level of peace within myself.  First, I have accomplished what I thought was the impossible.  I found that I am a smart and intelligent woman.  I finally graduated from college and now I am working on my Master's degree.  I know this is something that should have completed in my twenties but like I said, no regrets.  It is done and I have moved on.  I have grown to love who I am both physically and spiritually.  I know my body isn’t perfect but you know something, not everyone can be a drop dead diva.  Instead, I am beautiful in my own right.  I can look in the mirror each morning and I actually like what I see.  Sure, I would love to make changes but those changes have to be mine to make not anyone else’s.  Spiritually, I am happy; truly happy within my soul.  I am comfortable with My God and where I will be once my earthly body has ceased to exist.

What do I wish for?  I wish for a lot of things…like winning the lottery!  Hahaha  Seriously, I wish for happiness.  I wish for love, I wish for peace just like anyone else.  I can only wish to be half the woman my mother is because in my eyes she is amazing and everything good in life.  I wish to always make my mom and dad proud, Lord knows I have provided them with less than perfect behavior in my past. I wish to always make my family proud of me and who I am because they deserve no less.  I wish for my family to always be happy.  I wish for all of our soldiers to come home safe and be where they belong with their families.  I wish to live my life as a great role model so my grandchildren can grow up, be proud of me, and have happy lives.  Basically, I just wish for life to be simple. 

What do I want at this point in my life?  I want my family to always love one another, warts and all.  I want people to know that just because you are not blood related to someone does not mean they cannot be a part of your family unit.  Some of the best people in my life I have chosen to place there and would not change it for the world.  I would love to have the type of relationship with my daughter that I have with my mother. I know I could never replace her birth mom, but if she would give me half the chance, I could be a really good friend, giver of advice, and all around fun person.  I would love for my youngest son to achieve the goals he has set in his life and eventually find a nice girl to be his other half and make him happy.  (not too soon but sometime).  I want my oldest son to realize that even though I didn’t physically give birth to him, I love him as much as if I did.  I want my daughter-in-law to know I think she is an amazing mommy.  I can’t wait to see what the next chapter in her life will be with Dustin and Connor.  I want my family to know I am thankful each and every day to have them in my life and although I screw up and allow my mouth to over load my ass I am who I am and they should love me regardless.  (I know easier said than done right lol)  I want my husband to realize just how happy he makes me and how thankful I am for him every day.  He is my biggest fan and for that I am truly blessed. 

This is who I have become at forty-five:  I am a wife, a mother, a friend, a confidant, a teacher, a cheerleader, a grandmother, a daughter, a sister, and so many other things that I work on each day.  I am not perfect at either of these, nor will I ever be.  All I can do is to continually work on myself and who I am becoming.  You have heard the old saying, “Be patient, God isn’t finished with me yet”.  Well, be patient, I am a work in progress.  I work hard every day and there are days that I fall short of being the best me I can, but at least I work on it and know there is room for improvement. 

So, at forty-five years YOUNG here is what I have learned.  I am a passionate lover, a wonderful mother, a young grandmother, a wife to an amazing man, a teacher, and out of everything that I am I am a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!  

Written by:  Marie Roberts  7/29/11